Mar 14, 2011

On Notice!

Time to stomp some more yeti grievances, particularly some irksome publishing practices. Be better, bookbinders.

[Author's Note: Please read these "notices" in the light-hearted tone with which they were written. Mostly.]

I'll get to it...eventually

ON NOTICE - One of the Not So Fine Editors At Tor - Over on his blog, Ian Tregills shared the unfortunate news that The Coldest War will likely be delayed until summer 2012. Why you ask? Is he struggling with the complexity introduced by combining time travel, precognition, and free will? No. The book is done (as is the third volume, Necessary Evil). The problem? The book sat untouched on his editor's desk for 20 months. That's two babies and a partial summer in Europe (diapers are expensive). I understand not e-mailing me an ARC because you hate me but if your job is to read and edit contracted manuscripts, you should probably take the manuscripts you've got and read and edit them. Especially if they are contracted. Seriously, do your fucking job. I'd blame Big [If there was a replacement for helium, I'd insert it here] in some kind of conspiracy theory as they probably want to stop Ian's great coverage of Peak Helium. I already had to deal with the fact that I'll never be able to record the entire Malazan Book of the Fallen as read by Alvin the Chipmunk and now I have to wait until 2012 to read The Coldest War? But seriously,  Bitter Seeds is awesome. Delaying The Coldest War is not.

This time, we swear.

ON NOTICE - A Certain Unnamed Publisher Who Lies - You know who you are and why you lay awake at night. And that's all I'm going to say on that topic.

One does not simply write his way into Mordor

ON NOTICE - Patrick Rothfuss - I can't 1) write a #1 NYT Bestselling Book; 2) Speak  in front of crowds and manage to speak coherently much less be personable, comfortable and absolutely hilarious; 3) Grow an EpicBeard that could emasculate Gimli even after he simultaneously bedded Galadriel and slew? slained? slought? Smaug with a self-forged combination of Excalibur and Callandor.You can do all three. Frak you.


ON NOTICE - ; & : - As you are probably aware, I don't know the difference.

Not bad but have some shelf respect.

ON NOTICE - The Art Department at Bantam - Everyone was excited to hear the A Dance With Dragons got yet another final release date. Or at least that's what I assume, since everyone and @dianamoher posted about it. Somewhat less appealing? Another round of new covers. I understand the HBO series is coming out and it's superhypermondoubercritical to plaster "Now A Hit Series on HBO" all over what used to be self-respecting fantasy books. But why did you have to abandon the green ADWD cover? I believe this is now the third (possibly fourth) time these books have been recovered. Just because I want all of my books to match does not mean I will repurchase ever volume. No, I'm serious, I won't. Why don't you believe me? Quit Laughing! Damn it.

And some updates....

OFF NOTICE - Anyone with an ARC of The Heroes. That group grew to include me. And I'm already On Notice. Not to mention the fact that the book is readily available everywhere.

REMAINING ON NOTICE - Naomi Novik - Still waiting on that interview

REMAINING ON NOTICE - China Mieville - Still too awesome

REMAINING ON NOTICE - Myself - The other names are removable. I'm engraved. For a number of reasons.


  1. ...I'll never be able to record the entire Malazan Book of the Fallen as read by Alvin the Chipmunk...

    Dear Internet: Make this happen!

  2. Yes on Pat Rothfuss and China Mieville.

  3. I'm with you on the Dance with Dragons cover change. gah, I'm so anal about my books I'll have to re-buy everything now so my books match.


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