Oct 5, 2009

10 Ways to use Time Travel to Fix the Short Fiction Market.

My December issues of Analog and Asimov's arrived on Sept 30th. The only logical explanation is that their editors possess some form of Time Travel.

Why don't they use it for saving the short fiction market rather than publishing issues through time. Here are ten ideas to use their time travel powers to prevent the collapse of the genre short fiction market.
  1. Go to the past invest in Google/Microsoft/Apple until you can pay your authors $10 a word and enough editors to scour the resulting slushmountain for gems.

  2. Go back in time and destroy the internet in it's infancy like it's Skynet.

  3. Go to the past and buy Harry Potter from J.K. Rowling and serialize the novels for the next 30 years at $20 an installment.

  4. Go to the future and obtain a copy of A Dance With Dragons and promise to release it when subscriptions reach a certain level. Also consider obtaining the answers to Lost or the Blu-ray copies of the 3rd Nolan directed Batman movie.

  5. Go way, way back and teach foreign cultures English. A potential reader base of 6 billion has to be better than what you've got now.

  6. Bring several copies of Harlan Ellison to the same point in time, put them in a room together and sell tickets.

  7. Re-create Heinlein classic "-All You Zombies-" and sell the memoir as non-fiction/go on Jerry Springer.

  8. Go to past and pay Stephanie Meyer not to publish Twilight. I will throw in $100 bucks. You don't even need to publish anything. Also consider: Saving Firefly or Preventing "Everybody Loves Raymond"

  9. Tape bacon to your issues. It worked for Scalzi.

  10. Publish the January issue in September. Genius!

What's your solution?

1 comment:

  1. My solution, for which I apparently took all the blame, involved Johannes Gutenburg, Cynthia Ozick and Sam Raimi's car from Army of Darkness.

    It was somewhat "edited for length" at 1889.ca ;)



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