How are you? I hope you are staying warm at the North Pole and that Mrs. Claus hasn't read Twilight yet. If so, I'm sorry. I just wanted to write you this letter to let you know that I have been a very good blogger this year. I have read lots of books and written many good posts. I have not advertised or sold out for free books or attention at all. Except for that one time, but I really wanted a copy of The Heroes, so I hope you will forgive me.
I am also sorry for being mad at Paolo Bacigalupi. He just wouldn't share the awards with the other writers and I thought that was mean. I also promise not to make fun of The Speculative Scotsman. He does not actually use kittens as bookmarks. Anymore.
Since I have been so good, I would like the following for Christmas:
1. A job in the publishing industry. All the other bloggers are getting them.
2. ARCs of any (or all) of the following.
- The Wise Man's Fear - Patrick Rothfuss
- The Dragon's Path - Daniel Abraham
- The Coldest War - Ian Tregillis
- Raising Stony Mayhall - Daryl Gregory
- The Croning - Laird Barron
4. For China Mieville's Embassytown to come out in January instead of in May.
5. For Daniel Abraham to get the credit he deserves.
6. For a new Kindle that doesn't break if it is accidentally dropped. Not that I did that.
7. For the Blogger Platform to stay stable for an entire post. Or for some free help upgrading to Wordpress.
8. For the editors at DAW/Orbit/Tor/Del Rey/Night Shade Books to see this post, particularly Wish #2.
9. For a Star Wars author to write me into A Galaxy Far, Far Away. I would like to be a recurring character but if I have to die, I would prefer to fall at the hands of a lightsaber wielding Sith Wampa.
10. For World Peace and the completed manuscript of A Dance With Dragons. If I can only have one, then I would like A Dance With Dragons.
P.S. Anyone on the naughty list should get a copy of The Omen Machine instead of coal. Coal can be used to bring warmth and light so some people may be glad to get it.