Epically ConFused...

Much to the surprise of my Wednesday self, on Friday night I found myself braving the treacherous winter conditions en route to Detroit, MI to attend Epic ConFusion - my first ever con.
I really didn't know what to expect except that I would probably see a great line up of authors. Big names like Patrick Rothfuss, Joe Abercrombie, and John Scalzi as well as a few newer authors that I've chatted with including Saladin Ahmed, Kameron Hurley, Bradley Beaulieu, Myke Cole, Douglas Hulick. Throw in a few more-established favorites like Tobias Buckell, Jay Lake, Peter V. Brett, and  Brent Weeks and I couldn't not go. Plus this guy was going to be there.

As it turns out, the line-up and the winter storms combined to make for an incredible weekend. For every author that was there, there were ten fans that weren't, resulting in what had to be a 2:1 author to fan ratio. I couldn't stumble across the bar without falling into one of my favorite authors and every one of them was more than willing to sit down and have a drink or a bite to eat. I could go on and on but I don't think I could it justice. Here's a brief rundown of the things I learned this weekend:

• Joe Abercrombie apparently refers to playing Skyrim as "writing RED COUNTRY." He's about 80% done.

• As far as epic duels go, none would be as epically epic as a cute-off between Rothfuss's rugrat and the Buckell twins. If such an event were to occur, civilization as we know it would cease to exist.
• One Cthulu is terrifying. Two Cthulu is barely comprehensible. An overweight woman wearing two stuffed Cthulu's as a bra and little else? THE HORROR. THE HORROR.
• 100% of the women polled agreed that Joe Abercrombie was sexier than China Mieville. On a related note, while I listened to him give a Gaiman-caliber reading from THE HEROES, my wife watched him say something in a Britishy accent - she's not quite sure what.

• A prophecy was spoken - 2013 will bring the reign of the Mormish One, who promises blood and guns and magic. More on this when things are officially announced.
• Peter V. Brett believes its okay to comment on reviews. Except in the case of those posted on Staffer's Musings - Justin is huge and will kick your ass.

• If Douglas Hulick is the Peter Mayhew of the SFF world, Myke Cole is the Kenny Baker.
• John Scalzi is an ARC troll. He paraded his newly printed copy of REDSHIRTS around like a 2001 third grader with a Charizard foil card. I was sorely tempted to steal it from him when he let me hold it but my ethical side prevailed. (Okay, his wife might have tackled me when I was running from the room.) The prologue he read at his panel was incredible. When can I haz?
• Saladin Ahmed inexplicably has an inferiority complex. THRONE OF THE CRESCENT MOON might only be 300 pages of words but it contains 600 pages worth of awesome.

• The only thing cooler than having a book signed by an author is having a book signed by an author twice. Apparently, I grabbed the wrong copy of GOD'S WAR off the book shelf...luckily Kameron Hurley is awesome.
• Joe Abercrombie is an Arkansawyer, a shameless self-promoter, and a huge fan of Two Truths and a Lie. This is not always popular.

• There appears to be a correlation between authors who are very successful and authors who focus on story before world building.
• Patrick Rothfuss's beard is to quiet contemplative brillance what Samson's locks were to strength. Hopefully his legend will end with all involved structures fully intact.

All in all - I laughed, I cried, I saw things I can never unsee, and I met some people I look forward to seeing again. Epic ConFusion lived up to its name and then some.

Dr. StrangeNeil, Or: How You Can Stop Worrying and Win A Signed Copy of Neverwhere

I love Twitter. It doesn't do a lot, but what it does, it does well. Take for example, last minute event reminders. Yesterday, I would have completely missed the fact that Neil Gaiman was not just in Chicago, but scheduled to give a free talk on imagination and creativity less then 5 blocks from where I work. No one relegates Gaiman to the suburbs.

They don't have these in the suburbs.

Unbeknownst to me, Gaiman's Neverwhere was selected as part of One Book, One Chicago, a reading campaign put on the by Chicago Public Library. From what little I know, the point is to get the entire city reading and talking about the same book to bolster community and promote literacy. Whatever the reason, I don't think the selected authors are complaining. And with the program comes a budget, and a portion of that budget goes to throwing author events. At least part of my tax dollars are going to something interesting, I suppose. The standard format is a causal lecture framed as a discussion with another well known writer. Gaiman's conversation partner? Chicago's own Audrey Niffenegger, author of the absolutely incredible The Time Traveler's Wife.

Which makes the math all but remedial. Gaiman + Niffenegger + Free + Next Door = Must See. Unfortunately, I wasn't the only one who could put two and two together. I ran out the door at 4:55, got over to the library by 5:15, and found myself in line behind about a thousand people by 5:18. The auditorium seats about three hundred. So close and yet so far.

Cue disaster, right?

Wrong. YetiWife to the rescue.

My wife, Jennifer, (who has been previously established as being awesome) was able to get over to the library before I was and snag a coveted seat inside the main arena. After she realized I wasn't going to be able to make it inside, she (have I mentioned she's awesome?) volunteered to give up her seat so I could see the Neil himself. I resisted at first but she argued that she had never read anything by Gaiman and knew how much I wanted to see him speak. Add in the fact that I was extremely willing to negotiate and I somehow found myself with a yellow wristband, a ticket, and a seat in the auditorium. [Don't worry she still got to see them speak, albeit from the overflow room]. Twenty minutes later and Gaiman's on the stage.

To be honest, I was expecting a much larger persona, a character who would live up to the rock star status Gaiman currently commands. Instead I found a quieter, meeker writer; seemingly less sure of himself than anyone of his caliber has any right to be. This couldn't be the same man who gave us American Gods and Sandman, could it?

But as the room grew quiet in an attempt to hear his almost whispered words, I realized that he was doing something profoundly more impressive. Gaiman isn't the boisterous man at the bar, he's the silent soul with the scotch by the fire, sipping slowly as he contemplates the burn of each. He won't force you to hear to his story but if you're lucky enough to listen, you'll end up captivated long after roaring flames give way to glowing coals. It's as if he's not completely corporeal - an amalgamation of man and myth that might disappear with a moment's inattention.

I couldn't help but be amazed by the peculiar sense of wonder with which Gaiman explores every day life. If you every get a chance to see him speak, don't miss it. After an hour or so flew by, it was time for the standard Q & A. I attempted to ask him about when we could expect his next novel or even a hint or two as to it's subject but my question quickly disappeared into a sea of hands and I wasn't fortunate enough to be selected by Ms. Niffenegger. The mystery continues...

Along with a few unanswered questions, a handshake and a confirmation that Gaiman is every bit the oddball creative genius I imagined him to be, I also left the Harold Washington library with signed editions of American Gods and Neverwhere. Actually, two signed copies of Neverwhere, which brings me to the point of this post:

Signed (Not By Me).

I have 1 copy of Neverwhere to give away. It's unread and completely brand new aside from a weird Neil Gaiman shaped scribble on the title page. It was like that when I bought it. I swear.

 So if you are interested in obtaining a signed copy of Neil's work without having to fight the hoards of literary fanboys that follow him everywhere, you can send an e-mail to YetiContest [at] gmail [dot] com. You might even win provided you follow the rules below.

Rules
-Subject of e-mail must read "Neverwhere Contest"
-You should probably use @ instead of [at] and . instead of [dot]
-Limit 1 entry per e-mail address.
-Open to everyone (I might regret this)
-Contest will be open until 11:59pm CST, Friday April 29th
-Winner will be selected by random number generation
-E-mail must include

• Name
• Snail Mail Address
• Book you are looking forward to most for the remainder of 2011 and why.

And since I would have missed the talk entirely if not for it, there's going to be a twittercentric bonus chance to win. Keep an eye on @YetiStomper for additional details today or tomorrow...

Good luck!