This series of mini-rants is brought to you by Mind Asplode, the only product made out of 99.9% uncut surprise.
[Author's Note: Please read these "notices" in the light-hearted tone with which they were written. Mostly.]
ON NOTICE - People That Think Book Trailers Are A Good Idea
Watch this and tell me you're excited to read The Host. [Ignore the fact it was written by the same woman who unleashed Twilight on the world.]
I mean really? I hope they didn't spend triple digits on that. And make no mistake, this is par for the course. Personally, I would love to see a publishing house put together a real book trailer - one where random bits of dialogue and prose are spliced together. Here's one for James S. A. Corey's excellent new space opera:
"Anyone Drop A Rock?"
Irregular Orbital Graves.
"You Slept At All?"
ON NOTICE - Mira Grant - Zombie novels don't work. Even someone with half a brain [left] knows that. zombies aren't scary on the page. You can't see them in all their grotesque glory. There's no dialogue. They can't (or at least shouldn't) outsmart the protagonists. And every proofreader fears the day when the have to spell "BRAAAAAAIIINNNNSSSSSS!!!!" right. Zombie novel don't work. Why then is Mira Grant's Newsflesh Trilogy so good?
|The one and only.|
|Wait a second... Zoom in and Enhance...|
ON NOTICE - Days When Neil Gaiman Doesn't Link My Blog - Lonely blog is lonely.
|I'll give you 30 guesses.|
ON NOTICE - The New York [Behind the] Times - C'mon. Everyone knows Lauren Beukes is awesome. I'm glad you figured out that Zoo City was worth reading. Everyone else has known that ever since Moxyland put Angry Robot on the map. But if you insist on identifying up-and-coming writers, I've got another name you might want to check out: George R. R. Martin. He's poised to explode.
|I've heard good things about this one too....|
REMAINING ON NOTICE - Naomi Novik - Someone needs to tell her that while dragons aren't real, unanswered questions are. Interview, Novik. Interview.
REMAINING ON NOTICE - One of the Not So Fine Editors At Tor - You're up for parole when I finally see The Coldest War. Not a second sooner.
OFF NOTICE - Patrick Rothfuss - You know I can't stay mad at you.
OFF NOTICE- : & ; - Still don't know the difference but my therapist has helped me accept that I never will.
OFF NOTICE - A Certain Unnamed Publisher Who Lies - Now known as "A Certain Unnamed Publisher Who Lied, But Eventually Came Through"
REMAINING ON NOTICE - China Mieville - Placed on Double Secret On Notice for getting such awesome UK covers. Speaking of which, I now have a special Mieville bookshelf.
REMAINING ON NOTICE - Myself - What's it called if permanent and immutable have a child? And then that child is frozen in carbonite. That's what chance I have of moving off this list.
OFF NOTICE - The Art Department at Bantam - If I re-purchase all of the books, the covers will match again. #itssosimple #waitasecond #thatwastheideawasntit